Queen Valentine
(Reading music)
(My theme song)
Hi, I'm Valentine, but please just call me Val. My original name is Queen Valentoon of Valentoonia, but I changed my name and soon I'll tell you why. Before we get into the resentments of the past, why don't I tell you about what my life is like in the present day? I am currently occupied full time in fighting for the Toon Resistance. I find value in this work and prefer it to my old job as Queen, but I do wish I could find my true calling in life. When I'm not busting cogs, I love spending time with my adorable nieces, but when they're busy I enjoy leisure activities such as sunbathing and meditation, both of which I never had time to do as a Queen. Many say that I must have gotten a wicked tan from spending so much time in the sun since leaving the throne, but I'll be honest with you, that's not what really happened. In an attempt to distance myself from my past I changed not only my name but my color: yes, this color is just painted on. It is a bit of a secret of mine. My nieces Matzo and Crayon are always busy training their gags and such, but I always bug them to spend time with their aunt. They both (secretly) call me the cool aunt, as my sister Rainbow seems to not care much for Crayon. Crayon has talked to me about how she wishes Rainbow would spend more time with her which, frankly, is sad to hear from someone you care about. I don't understand why Rainbow doesn't try to bond with Crayon when I personally see so much of Rainbow in Crayon. Both of them are overlooked because their sister is seen as better by some. Maybe it's precisely because Crayon is in a similar place as Rainbow that Rainbow avoids her. My poor, dear sister... I don't mean to talk so much about my family when this story is supposed to be about me, but I think the best way to learn about someone is to learn about the important toons in their life and how their lives intertwine. To understand my story, you also need to understand Rainbow's story. So here, without further delay, is the story that determined mine and my sister's fates.
Rainbow and I are twins, first of all. So when the old Queen had to decide which one of us would be the new Queen, she waited to see which one of us would should signs of intelligence more early. She put us through rigorous testing (well, for kittens anyway) and I was apparently a natural at just about everything from math to geometry to language comprehension. Whether I was truly of superior intelligence or Rainbow was just a bit slower I don't know, but I was quickly pronounced Queen before I could even tell the difference between a cat and a duck. Now, tragically, as soon as this decision was made, she halted Rainbow's education and put all her resources into my education. Since she wouldn't be Queen, Rainbow didn't matter to them. As a consequence, Rainbow didn't learn how to speak until she was a teenager; until then, I could only communicate with her with gestures and phrases that she had memorized. It was very sad.
I began to learn Queenly things such as etiquette and public relations from a young age, and the Queen spared no expense for my birthdays, wardrobe, and tutoring. I didn't think much of this until I took my first walk alone on the street, and I went into the gag shop and was fascinated by what I saw. What are all these banana peels and safes and cupcakes for? I asked the clerk, and she responded that they were fighting the cogs, "of course". I had no idea what I cog was. I went my whole life without knowing that our entire town was under threat from millions of evil robots. I was terrified to my core. Just then, an amber duck came into the shop. His name is still seared into my memory: Wackydoodle. When he walked up to the counter, the clerk told him he needed more jellybeans. More jellybeans? How did he not have enough jellybeans? I had millions! How could it be that I had jellybeans and not everyone else did? If we had so many, why didn't we share? I felt completely lied to. My whole life was some fanciful pretense of wealth and security when the real world was suffering. I reached into my pocket and gave that duck all my jellybeans, 1,800 in total, which was my "small" daily allowance. I decided to go home and confront the Queen.
When I got back to the castle, I told the Queen about what I had learned. Her response was infuriating. She said that if I wanted to leave the throne, then Rainbow would have to take over and she wasn't fit to rule. "Just look at her," she said. I cried back that one day Rainbow would rule the world, not in this stupid castle but somewhere where she would be appreciated. But unfortunately, I needed to stay in power for the interests of everyone in Valentoonia. So, I decided that as soon as I was Queen I would do everything in my power to create equality and fight back against the cogs. A year later when I was crowned, Rainbow fled the castle. She left crying saying, "Let's go fight the Cogs!" which meant she was leaving to go be in the Toon Resistance. I guess that's what drew me to the Resistance: it was Rainbow's way out of the castle, so it would be my way out too. We had little contact in the next few years of my reign, but this changed when she gained literacy. She wrote me a letter telling me about her new life in Tooniversity and how she had made a friend, and was hoping that I wasn't too busy to write back. When I received this letter, I cried from the deepest part of my heart. I can't describe the joy that I felt in that moment because I always knew that my dear sister would make something of herself. I wrote a tear-stained letter in response telling her that I loved her and that she was invited to come visit the castle to see me again. She didn't reply for a very long time, and I don't know why. But during this period of silence, I was thinking... and thinking... and thinking. I thought about making my own new life, just like my sister did. I thought about how I could make my escape to go be with her. And after all this, I came up with my plan.
I secretly appointed Jackie Lemonbee as the new Queen, breaking the Valentoon dynasty. You see, I had a grand plan up my sleeve: on my final day as Queen, I made an announcement to all of Valentoonia. I made a decree asking for 2,000 brave volunteers to storm out of the pink, metallic gates of our city to go join the Resistance. I offered each volunteer 5,000 jellybeans, leaving me with a personal balance of 107 jellybeans. To my surprise, most toons rejected the jellybeans, but I insisted. And even more to my surprise, just over 3,000 toons responded to the decree! I was aware that I was taking away a very sizeable population of Valentoonia, but this also served to benefit Jackie, who needed an easier start to being Queen as she had no experience. It was a glorious day when this army of pink and red toons of every shade stormed into toon HQ all asking for jobs. I shook the glove of everytoon there and thanked them for joining me in standing up for all of toonkind. To their surprise, I renounced my crown in front of all. They were disappointed at first that I would no longer be their Queen, but I assured them that Jackie was truly wonderful and would bring them and their neighbors much happiness. Now stripped of my title, I changed my name to Valentine in the hopes that no one would associate me with the Valentoons. I even painted my fur a different color and adopted the fashion of common toons. After all the dust settled, my first official stop was to the Tooniversity to see Rainbow.
Questionnaire:
Favorite book? ... "Your Heart Completes Mine" and every other book by that author, Dr. Heartly from Valentoonia.
Who are your friends? ... Rainbow, Crayon, and Matzo of course, but I spend so much time with them I haven't made many other friends! Scurvy isn't around much since she is always sailing, and Jade is more Rainbow's friend. But back in Valentoonia, Jackie was my best friend.
Which was your most triumphant moment in your life? ... The day that I left the castle. It was the result of weeks of planning and plucking up the courage, and when I left Valentoonia, I didn't look back. I was ready to face my new life. Regrets, you ask? Yes, there is one. I didn't go through with my other plan. I changed my mind at the last minute and cancelled the order of roses that I had ordered from the castle florist, because... next question.
What is your favorite gag? ... My favorite gag is the trapdoor. It's always funny to watch the cogs reach for the dollar bill then look down and realize too late that they've walked right into my trap! :)
(My theme song)
Hi, I'm Valentine, but please just call me Val. My original name is Queen Valentoon of Valentoonia, but I changed my name and soon I'll tell you why. Before we get into the resentments of the past, why don't I tell you about what my life is like in the present day? I am currently occupied full time in fighting for the Toon Resistance. I find value in this work and prefer it to my old job as Queen, but I do wish I could find my true calling in life. When I'm not busting cogs, I love spending time with my adorable nieces, but when they're busy I enjoy leisure activities such as sunbathing and meditation, both of which I never had time to do as a Queen. Many say that I must have gotten a wicked tan from spending so much time in the sun since leaving the throne, but I'll be honest with you, that's not what really happened. In an attempt to distance myself from my past I changed not only my name but my color: yes, this color is just painted on. It is a bit of a secret of mine. My nieces Matzo and Crayon are always busy training their gags and such, but I always bug them to spend time with their aunt. They both (secretly) call me the cool aunt, as my sister Rainbow seems to not care much for Crayon. Crayon has talked to me about how she wishes Rainbow would spend more time with her which, frankly, is sad to hear from someone you care about. I don't understand why Rainbow doesn't try to bond with Crayon when I personally see so much of Rainbow in Crayon. Both of them are overlooked because their sister is seen as better by some. Maybe it's precisely because Crayon is in a similar place as Rainbow that Rainbow avoids her. My poor, dear sister... I don't mean to talk so much about my family when this story is supposed to be about me, but I think the best way to learn about someone is to learn about the important toons in their life and how their lives intertwine. To understand my story, you also need to understand Rainbow's story. So here, without further delay, is the story that determined mine and my sister's fates.
Rainbow and I are twins, first of all. So when the old Queen had to decide which one of us would be the new Queen, she waited to see which one of us would should signs of intelligence more early. She put us through rigorous testing (well, for kittens anyway) and I was apparently a natural at just about everything from math to geometry to language comprehension. Whether I was truly of superior intelligence or Rainbow was just a bit slower I don't know, but I was quickly pronounced Queen before I could even tell the difference between a cat and a duck. Now, tragically, as soon as this decision was made, she halted Rainbow's education and put all her resources into my education. Since she wouldn't be Queen, Rainbow didn't matter to them. As a consequence, Rainbow didn't learn how to speak until she was a teenager; until then, I could only communicate with her with gestures and phrases that she had memorized. It was very sad.
I began to learn Queenly things such as etiquette and public relations from a young age, and the Queen spared no expense for my birthdays, wardrobe, and tutoring. I didn't think much of this until I took my first walk alone on the street, and I went into the gag shop and was fascinated by what I saw. What are all these banana peels and safes and cupcakes for? I asked the clerk, and she responded that they were fighting the cogs, "of course". I had no idea what I cog was. I went my whole life without knowing that our entire town was under threat from millions of evil robots. I was terrified to my core. Just then, an amber duck came into the shop. His name is still seared into my memory: Wackydoodle. When he walked up to the counter, the clerk told him he needed more jellybeans. More jellybeans? How did he not have enough jellybeans? I had millions! How could it be that I had jellybeans and not everyone else did? If we had so many, why didn't we share? I felt completely lied to. My whole life was some fanciful pretense of wealth and security when the real world was suffering. I reached into my pocket and gave that duck all my jellybeans, 1,800 in total, which was my "small" daily allowance. I decided to go home and confront the Queen.
When I got back to the castle, I told the Queen about what I had learned. Her response was infuriating. She said that if I wanted to leave the throne, then Rainbow would have to take over and she wasn't fit to rule. "Just look at her," she said. I cried back that one day Rainbow would rule the world, not in this stupid castle but somewhere where she would be appreciated. But unfortunately, I needed to stay in power for the interests of everyone in Valentoonia. So, I decided that as soon as I was Queen I would do everything in my power to create equality and fight back against the cogs. A year later when I was crowned, Rainbow fled the castle. She left crying saying, "Let's go fight the Cogs!" which meant she was leaving to go be in the Toon Resistance. I guess that's what drew me to the Resistance: it was Rainbow's way out of the castle, so it would be my way out too. We had little contact in the next few years of my reign, but this changed when she gained literacy. She wrote me a letter telling me about her new life in Tooniversity and how she had made a friend, and was hoping that I wasn't too busy to write back. When I received this letter, I cried from the deepest part of my heart. I can't describe the joy that I felt in that moment because I always knew that my dear sister would make something of herself. I wrote a tear-stained letter in response telling her that I loved her and that she was invited to come visit the castle to see me again. She didn't reply for a very long time, and I don't know why. But during this period of silence, I was thinking... and thinking... and thinking. I thought about making my own new life, just like my sister did. I thought about how I could make my escape to go be with her. And after all this, I came up with my plan.
I secretly appointed Jackie Lemonbee as the new Queen, breaking the Valentoon dynasty. You see, I had a grand plan up my sleeve: on my final day as Queen, I made an announcement to all of Valentoonia. I made a decree asking for 2,000 brave volunteers to storm out of the pink, metallic gates of our city to go join the Resistance. I offered each volunteer 5,000 jellybeans, leaving me with a personal balance of 107 jellybeans. To my surprise, most toons rejected the jellybeans, but I insisted. And even more to my surprise, just over 3,000 toons responded to the decree! I was aware that I was taking away a very sizeable population of Valentoonia, but this also served to benefit Jackie, who needed an easier start to being Queen as she had no experience. It was a glorious day when this army of pink and red toons of every shade stormed into toon HQ all asking for jobs. I shook the glove of everytoon there and thanked them for joining me in standing up for all of toonkind. To their surprise, I renounced my crown in front of all. They were disappointed at first that I would no longer be their Queen, but I assured them that Jackie was truly wonderful and would bring them and their neighbors much happiness. Now stripped of my title, I changed my name to Valentine in the hopes that no one would associate me with the Valentoons. I even painted my fur a different color and adopted the fashion of common toons. After all the dust settled, my first official stop was to the Tooniversity to see Rainbow.
Questionnaire:
Favorite book? ... "Your Heart Completes Mine" and every other book by that author, Dr. Heartly from Valentoonia.
Who are your friends? ... Rainbow, Crayon, and Matzo of course, but I spend so much time with them I haven't made many other friends! Scurvy isn't around much since she is always sailing, and Jade is more Rainbow's friend. But back in Valentoonia, Jackie was my best friend.
Which was your most triumphant moment in your life? ... The day that I left the castle. It was the result of weeks of planning and plucking up the courage, and when I left Valentoonia, I didn't look back. I was ready to face my new life. Regrets, you ask? Yes, there is one. I didn't go through with my other plan. I changed my mind at the last minute and cancelled the order of roses that I had ordered from the castle florist, because... next question.
What is your favorite gag? ... My favorite gag is the trapdoor. It's always funny to watch the cogs reach for the dollar bill then look down and realize too late that they've walked right into my trap! :)